so this last two weeks a patient has gone off and smashed things - kicked in a door twice - hit things wiht his fists and us

I just dont know how much longer i can do this ....

my ptsd is on high alert.....

i handle it at the time

but afterwards.....

i have stayed up for 24 hours twice recently when the patient went off and it always seemd to be me that goes in to calm the patient -- thats ok - i am good at that - but for crying out loud when is it going to be someone elses turn...

I am back to nightmares..... I am back to seeing things out of the corner of my eye...... I am just so tired of all this....

I dont feel backed up at work

I dont feel management give a rats behind about us....

theres supposed to be Zero tolerance for violence but obviously nurses dont count......

I feel like jumping uot of my skin... i feel like SI, ..... I promised T not to.... i am trying desperately not to....

but i dont know how much loonger i can hold on.. and its coming up to the 3 year anniv of whenn i was attacked - early nov.......

I just dont know......... I love my job...i love helping the patients ...i see miracles every day... why should i give that up cos managment dont give a s*it about us...

dunno..............