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Sep 08, 2009, 01:24 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,938
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I'm posting this here cus l dont know where else to put it, if its in wrong place sorry in advance. Went to see T today and it appeared that all was calm and quiet within for the first time in along time and eerie silence. Triigers for few days have been low in one respect but high in the respect that there is just so much going onin our everyday life. T says that if there is so much going on then she neeeds to call out the others..........................l dont want them out, she dont get it that l need to stay here right now cus things are in such a big big mess and then she saying why aren't they doing there jobs  l don't get it she upset everyone who is then left feeling that everything that is happening now is there fault once again and that they should somehow be protecting me from the things that ARE happening now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what is going on she is the one who is always saying that l am them and they are me all one person and yet today when l need her she wants them out, she upsets them all and makes me feel like l just have to put up and shut up. What is it she is trying to do??? l dont want the chaos back in my head as well as what is happening now too.......l cant stand NO MORE she dont get it l have so had enough of it all  who am l am l them am l me am l all of us ....................l just dont know ...... don't want it and cant stand it its just too too much. Are we here , do we exist she has just so confused me and all of us..............when will this nightmare be over????? cus for now they dont want to go back there cus they feel that she is blaming them for now and we all have big big problems with being blamed for stuff. We thought that she understood , why did she do this???? cant we just have some peace sometimes or does it always have to be hurt, pain, fear, sadness, anger, and all the other yuk................ why dont they all just leave us alone sometimes
sorry for the rant and sounding so weak and pathetic but right now am thinking DONT EVER want to go back there
we are so done with it all being blamed for all this c.... we need to believe it werent our fault and then she comes out with this just because we are quiet.......maybe its best if we all just went back to our silent days and kept our hurt and shame private it was easier that way
sorry silentones
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