Just wanted to touch base here. I was doing well there for a bit. But last Friday night a fire broke out in the apartment next to us and in turn destroyed 12 apartments...ours being one of the twelve. We suffered smoke and water damage. Everything is ruined. We were able to save some pictures and some other personal items...but for the most it is all ruined.
Now, for those who know me here I am classic BPD. I see everything in black or white. Can you tell how I am viewing my life right about now?
This is how it seems to go for me....right when I think I can get back to some good mental health some thing happens in way of major situation and throws me right back down to the pits of Hell.
I feel like this is a blatant sign for me to exit. But, I am trying to work through this grief with my T and I am struggling but I am still here.
I am at work this morning just to get away from it all.
But, I am sad, angry, overwhelmed, tired, and have lost my home.
I am staying safe for the moment. But, I feel like at any moment I could have a total break down. Perhaps all of the shock has worn off and that is what is keeping me going.
This is just awful. And I keep asking "Why?"