I think my mind is trying to go back up to a mania. But the med the meds they hurt my head trying to keep me level. I'm irritable and sad at the same time. I'm getting fed up so easily. I want to do self destructive things and tell ppl all the things I want to say but hold back out of kindness. My filter is going away I think. Oh I'd much rather be manic. Everyone at work is looking at me funny for feeling blue. I need the perky talkative me so they don't think I'm crazy. Oh goodness I want the energy I need it. This weighed down feeling isn't working for me.