w_i,
thank you for your support
it's needed more than I can put into words

it's my own stupidity that got me into this mess
yeah, the shock of being used,among other things, brings out a variety of feelings
and some of them I just can't handle with any finesse or grace right now

needs met?
no
scrambling to find a safer place

thank you, again, white_iris, for caring enough to respond

it's not what happened; I've been disappointed before
what's bothering me the most is my hearing those old tapes again
I didn't think I had arrived at some magical spot that would make me immune to them
but my descent into hearing them and not being able to silence them yet.