My anger is so high today. Even getting onto this forum has been a massive test of my patience and honestly about 4 times i nearly slammed down the lid of the lap top in utter frustration. If this post doesn't work i think i will actually scream!

I'm so angry that tension is soaring up and down my body and my mind is ready to snap in two, but i'm not sure how to show that properly. Sometimes i will rant and rave because i'm so angry but it never makes any difference! It only causes more problems.

I was on the edge at work today, it was the cause of my anger and i very much let it show. I seriously needed to reduce showing my irritation and frustration at work etc (but whatever, i don't give a damn right now, they shouldn't blummin' cause my anger in the first place in my eyes!!!). People tell me to calm down and take a breath but i can't!! I don't want to be angry but i cannot understand why ppl are not feeling it to the intensity i do. How can they be so calm? I get angry with them for not joining me in my anger and the cycle continues....

I don't get it i am so angry i want to rant and rave. I've so angry i want to cut myself to relieve the tension and get the anger out. I don't get how talking works because i could talk until i am blue in the face and still be so angry. And i already have, i ranted at work for hours, then i came home and have done the same to family and it hasn't made any friggin' difference. I think it is a load a rubbish this whole 'expressing emotions makes everything better' theory. I doesn't work!

That is why i cut, because it works!! It satisfies some aggressive part of me that cannot find relief in words. I have been to the gym almost constantly this last wk trying to take out my anger on the treadmill but i'm so tired today. I hate this angry feeling mixed with exhaustion. And i'm even too angry to care right now. I don't care about being good or healthy, or expressing this more constructively - sod that! I want to rage!!!