Thanks bp, I do love being a Dad. In fact, I think that is how, in large part, I defined myself. But since I have my kids only about a third of the time I am lost the remaining two thirds of the time.

I was fortunate enough to have met a wonderful woman. But, my depression and my twisted way of acting out in response to the depression resulted in me losing her.

I am struggling so much now. I really don't know what to do. Thank you so much for your kind words and I am glad that the importance of being a Dad comes through in my posts.