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Originally Posted by lynn P.
I think you're asking alot of important questions, especially on how break old patterns so you don't end up in the same position. Some people never manage to get to the root of why their relationships aren't successful. If we knew the answers then more of us would be happier LOL. I was wondering if you see a therapist at all - it may be worth exploring.
Regarding feeling jealous of your exes new GF - I think it's all to new and it's normal to feel jealous. You obviously realize he was player and the more this sinks in - your jealousy will lessen with time. It's tempting to feel envious and think they're so happy but since you know he's a handful then I kinda feel sorry for her really.
How to avoid this in the future. I think jealously comes in 2 forms - where the guy gives the woman legitimate reasons to be jealous and when the guy is innocent and the woman is insecure. It could also be a combination of the 2. So you would need to determine does your jealously come from picking untrustworthy men or does it come from feeling insecure or both.
There's an interesting concept - that some people choose partners, who share the same negative traits of one of their parents who they had issues with growing up. So my question is- did you perhaps see your mom is unhappy relationships or was your father untrustworthy in relation to your mom? The theory behind this principle is we subconscously choose a partner with neg. traits of our parent - so we can deal with unresolved issues of the past.
I don't know if this applies to you or not? I think it's a healthy step in the right direction to think about, how to break this pattern. I know you feel lonely right now. I feel it's important to learn how to cope with being alone and being happy with yourself, without a man. When we feel completely happy with ourselves we're less likely to appear needy in relationships and we can also be more discerning in who we choose. Best of luck. 
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This is so, so true. You know I have trust issues, and I can't say that I will over come all of that. I know that a lot comes from my childhood. So, it is easy for me to get jealous. The bf I have now, he doesn't really so much make me jealous. Thank GOD
Marjan, all I can say is that I know these feelings so well. You know my ex-husband cheated on me, and left me. I was jealous because I wanted his love. I think the thing that got me was that he just moved on so quick, and Marjan maybe you feel this too. I know it sucks when you want a man to love you, and he doesn't. It will get better over time.