Sorry to hear that you're still feeling so crappy. I know that wanting to "run away" feeling. But look! You're here, communicating, and that's a good sign. It's a positive step. Now take another step. Have you considered any of the suggestions offered last week? They were: Try adjusting your Depakote dose, or try a different mood stabilizer, like Trileptal. Also, get thee to a therapist! And finally, be patient and kind with yourself.