I feel like (or have been made to feel like) what I'm doing is crazy. I thought that by trying to figure out where my anxiety is coming from and why I am the way I am (and how to fix it), that I've gone off the rocker and now I'm just talking jibber jabber. The thing is, when I first did this introspection, at the same time my first severe manic state hit me - therefore it was all I was talking about and writing.
After I was in the hospital, I thought it was from the life changing thinking I was doing, because I realized many new things about my life, and my anxiety vanished, along with all fears; It was actually the antidepressant paxil, that I took the month before which caused the mania.

Now that I'm back to 'normal', my anxiety is back, along with low self esteem and all that other good stuff that comes from it. The problem is, I'm afraid of trying to do my own self help for fear that maybe my introspection might cause another manic episode. Is this even possible? I think I read somewhere that stressful events can trigger the cycles of bipolar.