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Sep 10, 2009, 07:47 AM
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Member Since: Jul 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Posts: 2,779
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Jan,
I can't give you any words of wisdom from my own experience because it would turn into a book. But what I have observed is that parents never, ever have an unbiased, realistic, or fair vision of their children. Built into their viewpoint of anything they say to or about their children is history, expectations and bias. It has always been this way and always will be this way. Very rare are the exceptions. Along that same line, we children have always strived to please them. It never matters what age we are. We are always trying to prove ourselves to be everything we think they want us to be. Almost without exception. And, at the same time, we have this conflict going on inside of us that says that we are NOT everything that they wanted us to be and they should see us for who we are and love us for who we are. Now. Doesn't all of this sound complicated? You're darn right it is!
What it all boils down to is, once you are an adult and are living on your own, there is no sense in trying to prove your self worth to your parent. They will always see you one way and you will always see yourself another way. The most important thing is how you see yourself and love yourself. Love your parents for what they gave you and let it go at that. Try to love them in spite of what they gave you, if that is what is necessary. They will always have a critical word or two here and there.
From what I know about you, you have SO MUCH to be proud of about yourself. You have accomplished much. Celebrate that. Celebrate who you are. 
__________________
 Vickie
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