Thanks Lynn....
My parents had never trust issues or jealousy...they have been faithful to each other always....
I think my jealousy specially in this case was more true....My jealousy was not coming from insecurity, it was more coming from trust issue....I could not trust him since he told me he's been with so many girls and at the same time that he had me, he was flirting with so many other girls, adding them to his facebook, texting them, dancing with them....and lots of other things....ya...I didn't feel secure in such a relationship....probably, the jealousy was from both kind that you maintained before (both from insecurity and him making me jealous)....
Honesty, I don't feel jealous about the girl....Actually, I kind of developing sympathy towards her....Last Thursday, when I saw the girl looking at him being worry and him giving me more attention, I felt bad, that's why I left the class....I don't want to be part of his ugly childish game....I was like that girl before sitting in the corner waiting for him to come towards me....and him giving me attitude....NOOOOOOO....I don't want that at all....
Yes, it's hurtful seeing how quickly he moved on, but whatever....as time passes, I'm getting better....Yesterday, I found out, I'm laughing and smiling again....It felt like My real me is coming back....
I used to see Therapist, but not anymore....I might see one....just I don't have that much time....I read lots of self-help book....and I go to temple, and talk to my spiritual teachers....they help me a lot....I meditate at least once a day.....
I do agree with you that I have to find happiness within myself....Also, I want to be stronger person....I want to exercise more and stay positive and strong...
thanks for your help
Marjan
Quote:
Originally Posted by lynn P.
I think you're asking alot of important questions, especially on how break old patterns so you don't end up in the same position. Some people never manage to get to the root of why their relationships aren't successful. If we knew the answers then more of us would be happier LOL. I was wondering if you see a therapist at all - it may be worth exploring.
Regarding feeling jealous of your exes new GF - I think it's all to new and it's normal to feel jealous. You obviously realize he was player and the more this sinks in - your jealousy will lessen with time. It's tempting to feel envious and think they're so happy but since you know he's a handful then I kinda feel sorry for her really.
How to avoid this in the future. I think jealously comes in 2 forms - where the guy gives the woman legitimate reasons to be jealous and when the guy is innocent and the woman is insecure. It could also be a combination of the 2. So you would need to determine does your jealously come from picking untrustworthy men or does it come from feeling insecure or both.
There's an interesting concept - that some people choose partners, who share the same negative traits of one of their parents who they had issues with growing up. So my question is- did you perhaps see your mom is unhappy relationships or was your father untrustworthy in relation to your mom? The theory behind this principle is we subconscously choose a partner with neg. traits of our parent - so we can deal with unresolved issues of the past.
I don't know if this applies to you or not? I think it's a healthy step in the right direction to think about, how to break this pattern. I know you feel lonely right now. I feel it's important to learn how to cope with being alone and being happy with yourself, without a man. When we feel completely happy with ourselves we're less likely to appear needy in relationships and we can also be more discerning in who we choose. Best of luck. 
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