Something has changed in the past year. It's ok that can happen. But it sounds like things have changed that you can't do this alone. Can you talk to your husband about the FEELINGS to get some support? if not, do you have a therapist who might be able to help?

How are you getting negative feelings out? Do you have a journal or punching bag or someone to talk to when things get rough?

Do you feel sufficient? Do you feel like you have shortcomings? Do you feel guilty? Why, and how do you get those feelings out?

Sending hugs