My Support Forums - View Single Post - Pregnancy and my therapist (MAYBE TRIGGERING)

tmac87 · Sep 10, 2009 at 08:10 PM

I am hating being pregnant more and more as the days pass by. I am aware that there is only 42 weeks in pregnancy but I am getting worse and worse without my medications. I have had thoughts to just cut today and alot recently. Its like I cant get these thoughts out of my head and make them go away. I NEED them to go away soon before I end up acting on them. I really need my anti-depressants desperately. This isnt very easy trying to not cut. People just dont seem to understand how hard it is if they dont use cutting as an outlet from pain like I do. I am now being re-admitted to WCHOB for having like 6 seziures today but thats my fault because I stopped my anti-seziure medications. Its just that the medication was making me sick like vomiting and giving me headaches really badly. I am so sick of this I cant even sleep anymore. Everything is making me think and feel like I am going to explode very soon. I need some type of relief and quickly. I dont know what to do anymore people in real life just dont seem to understand how my life is and how dealing with depression really does affect an individuals perpective on life. I hate it and most likely always will untill I get better and recieve the help that I need to begin my recovery process. So once again I told my therapist about how I have been feeling extremely stressed and overwhelmed with everything. She laughed again at me and told me "your smart enough you can cope with these problems on your own I dont understand why you think that you need to see a therapist to help you work through these problems". I guess that watching my dad stab my mom 16 times doesnt qualifiy for needing treatment for ptsd, I also guess that having an eating disorder and/or cutting doesnt qualify the need for help. I am not stupid I know that I need help or else I wouldnt be trying to get a therpaist that accually is helpful and not disrespectful to me. I just dont understand how she can want to help a person but only make them feel worse in the long run like she is making me feel everytime I meet with her. I have talked to her boss about the way treats me like I dont even need to be in therapy and he said that he has talked to her a couple of times about this not even just about me I guess that she is suppose ofly like this some of her other clients....how can she treat people like this its so not right in any way. She makes me feel like I am not intitled to my feelings that I have because she says Im not. Ahhhhhhh she makes me just want to cut.