i know lots of people like that. i have a specific friend with whom i generally end requests with permission to say no! like, hey can i come over and do laundry this weekend? feel free to say no!

i never did understand the doormat mentality, and usually, i dont feel guilty, i feel angry. your MIL, though, this sounds more like the martyr mentality than the doormat. my great grandmother was like that and we all learned to ignore it. either youre ungrateful for refusing their offers or youre a burden for "making" them do something for you. i think vickie's advice is great...dont let someone else's issues become your issues.