Dear Lynn!
Your husband is acting exactly as my husband did 15 years ago when our first child was born. He took no interest in me or the child, he just worked. He did not love me that was the simple truth and it was obvious from his behavior, I just could not believe that the man I had married changed so drastically when we became parents. I endured hoping things would improve for the sake of our child and because I was afraid of being on my own. He left me, when our second child was newborn ,for another woman. He was totally unaware of the pain he caused me, the stress he put me through by constanly lying to me, critizising me, by being out drinking with other women etc and also unaware of that by hurting and stressing me he was also hurting his children in that I could not be as good a parent for them as I could have been had my marrige not been living hell. Until this day he still does not grsp what he did to me but now I could care less. He had the power to devastate me because I was so vulnerable being a mother of two small children, just as vulnerable as you are. Today it would never happen!!!

My point is that: YES there are people like that, totally ruthless will even attack a mother with an infant not seeing how vulnerable she is. On top of everything he is denying you, the women who gave him a child financial equaliy!! For Christ sake you can not even get a drivers license!! Would you treat him that way? Hardly, it is not normal.

I read that someone suggested you slip into something sexy and seduce him ("help him getting the job done") This is a terribly cynical advise! He should be the one sedusing you after what you and your body has been through expecting and giving birth to your child. He should worship the scars on your body and kiss you all over and be eager to show his love making love to you. Normal would be that he was just as in love with your baby as you are, feeling the baby is a miracle. Do not loose track of what is normal in this awful situation you are in!!

Get a divorce, your husband is an [censored] and the sooner you see it and accept it the better. Remember your childs childhood is not possible to rewind once it is gone it is gone. Do not let this uniq period in your life get ruined by your husband. It is undertsandable if you are like taken by surprise by how your marriage has developed but you must not let it parylize you making you not take action to make a good life for yourself and your baby. This is not a time to be "a quiet" person just sitting there taking "[censored]" from an [censored] you must take responsibility for yourself and your child.
If I were you however I would seek help now ( Family counseling) just to show you care about your family and that the wellbeing of your child is your utmost priority in order to have this to show in the future should you end up in a custody fight. By the way, how likely is it that your husband would go for custody given the little interest he seems to have now for your child. As I said my ex husband took almost no interest in the children when they were little however he grew more interested as they grew older therefor see that you divorce now, a judge is more likely to think an infant should be with the mother. Take charge of your life and responsebility for your child by getting out of a marriage clearly doomed.

In yor situation wich is so stressful you can easily get confused about what is "normal expectations" and what is not and even about what is right or wrong. As an example you say you fear your husband would get custody. To me that seems very unlikely given how he is behaving now. Yor history is not that important what is important is how well you take care of yourself and your child, that is what a judge looks at deciding on custody. Try to find someone you can consult with on a regular basis in order to keep yourself on track and prepare yourself for a stressfulperiod as you take the step out of this hell you are in. Your husband will probalbly find many ways to make life difficult for you as you decide to leave him. Excuse my spelling English is not my firt language.
Best of luck!!