What I wonder as I read the posts of T's gestures of hugs and proclaimations of I love you, is, is that what we're really needing as adults? I'm not sure, I know for me a hug and an I love you, though initially wonderful feeling, and perhaps thats enought I'm not sure, but I wonder as we lie at night alone under the moon, do we doubt the sincerety? Perhaps its more that we really are struggling with the parts of us that feel unlovable and we want that seen and validated, we want someone to say, I've seen parts of you that we all have that we'd rather not see, and yes I still care for you? I know for myself, this is true, and perhaps I'm alone in this. Its containment and acceptence of my shadow side that feels the most reasuring, I'm always left wondering when "supportive" people online have reasure me that I am loved that they are there for me, I just dont buy into it. I dont' know what I'm trying to say here, I dunno like in T today I mentioned how I struggle with the monster side of me, how I feel I am capable of evil and incapable of ever truely loving, I think I was looking for reasurance that I am capable of loving, but T said, "Perhaps your both those things", at first I wanted to run away from that, but it became reasuring once I had faced the fact that as humans we are capable of both, and that T was't trying to deny this or tell me "oh of course your not evil, your wonderful, I love you, she was brave enought to be there with me in my fears, and then it gave me the ablity to sit back and see, yes I am capable of evil and yes somedays I'm a ***** as much as the next person, but it didnt weight heavy, because T had normalised it and taken away the "saint" quality I was looking for and brought me down to earth with all the other struggling humans. Does this make sense? If she has just gone along with the "of course your lovable", I would stil have had in the shadows the fear that there are days I'm not and it felt ok, it felt more in my control, not so split of from me.