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Sep 11, 2009, 11:50 AM
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Member Since: Apr 2008
Posts: 265
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kris9999
Since I cut. The last time was January 2004. I still haven't cut but I really want to lately. I've found myself constantly burning my arm with my cigarettes. I try and keep tapping the fire on my arm to prevent burning, but cause the pain none the less. I don't want marks because my husband will leave me if he knows I've been doing it. That's the only thing that's prevented me from cutting. Now I just don't know how to stop again. Up until a couple weeks ago hurting myself never crossed my mind any more, now ANY time I'm upset it's all I think about and all I do.
How do I stop thinking about it? I was doing so well!!!!!!!
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Sorry to hear that you are going through so much angst right now. This is an addiction and it comes up on us suddenly. First congrats on 6 years. That is a great deal of time and you should acknowledge that yourself.
Just to say what has been said before - are seeing a therapist? If not maybe this would be a good time to talk to someone about what is going on. It's hard to figure out what triggers us, I know that at times I will just feel SI'ing and I don't know why.
You are doing the best you can with the resources you have so please don't beat yourself up over the fact that you think you should be doing better. You are still doing well, but in order to get through this I think you might want to continue writing and find someone even your husband to talk to.
We are here to support you - so write here about what is going on and what has changed...you are not ALONE!!!
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