(((((((Jacq)))))))

What I understand you to be saying is that if a person acted in certain ways, you'd expect to find them needy, clingy, annoying, and a problem for you. Meanwhile you're also expecting that if you were to act in similar ways, your T would find you needy, clingy, annoying, and a problem -- so you're taking care not to be caught acting in anything like those ways.

Could you be overlooking a difference in perspectives, though? It seems to me not only possible but highly likely that your T would experience an appearance of "neediness" on your part quite differently from how you'd experience a similar appearance of neediness on someone else's.

You may have very good reasons for not wanting to be seen (or to see yourself) acting needy, but it doesn't follow that your T would have any of those reasons in common with you. If anything, I'd expect her to be in the business of relieving you of those reasons.

Or am I belaboring the obvious here?