I do have a therapist, I have only seen her once so far but I see her again Monday. I have so many things to talk to her about, so many problems going on with me I don't know if I have time to bring up this... I think it all started though because of an idiotic thought I had one night (and still have but have not acted on it) to burn my face with an iron... Long story behind it.

For every day that passes though I think more and more about this. I'm tired of burning, It's not the same as cutting.

I can't really talk to my husband about any of this, he has made it perfectly clear that he will leave me if I do it and put me in the hospital. So he's out of the question.

I know a lot has changed recently and I'm thinking now, when I stopped cutting it wasn't all me. I ended up also going through a numb phase. For years I felt nothing, now that my feelings have come crashing back with fury, so has everything else I used to do and feel.

I'm trying to get hold of this and control my feelings but I am finding it rather impossible!