I am with you.........to me the search for unconditional love is a complicated matter as I do not know exactly what it means as I dont believe I ever experienced it as a child. It such a quagmire Michah, Yes I to would willingly live alone without contact with others but that is neither practical or realistic. So I have these relationships with people but they are only evolving as I evolve. There always seemed to be a trade off with love and loving someone in my past life, they wanted something from me or I could provide something for them, but as I am learning now my own needs were never met, so where was the unconditional love in that. Its a bitter pill we have had to swallow all these years, such a complicated life. But like you I will continue the fight and trust that there is something better at the end of this. It is through my own releasing of pain of the past and acknowledging my anger that will foster forgivness and set me free into a path of self love and then I will be able to love others more. My psychotherapist told me last week I needed to be more compassionate with myself, there seems to be something new every fortnight that I see him. So much to learn.....So much to do, but we will get there in the end, I just know it. I am rambling and not making sense, but you are not alone Dear Michah..................................