Quote:
Originally Posted by del12
It has been awhile since I have spent time here and I really miss all of you. I am so frustrated right now with mysself. I really feel I was making some progress with therapy and then this past session I think we touched on some stuff that really hit me deep down where I hate to go. We talked about how I start to share and then it just goes away. I just stop. I can't allow myself to reveal some of the feelings I have. I do trust my T and my T is so kind and supportive, but do I trust my T with my real feelings? No Why not I don't know. I so want to get past this I don't even know what to call it A Block? I am so scared that once I say it I will be left alone to deal with it. When I try to sit down and write it out that same block comes up. How do you get past this fear of opening yourself up and trustung the one person I should trust. My T! Hell that's what I pay for. My T has told me that I can share anything and it will be okay. I hate feeling this way and be so frustrated. Thanks for listening. I appreciate all of you.  |
((((del12)))
I am soo where you are right now and so I don't have any super great advice. Like you I started off in therapy really closed up and I didnt want to share. I got to a point where I started sharing more and opening up more--more so about simpler things and I thought great im making progress maybe I can start digging a little deeper? WRONG...I have told T that I want to talk about x,y,and z and then I completely back off OR if I attempt to, I get stopped in my tracks. Of course I get the dreaded question: what would it be like to share x,y and z...I never understand that question...how am I supposed to answer that. Anyways, T said that it's that I don't trust her. And I have told her I do, but she says yeah to a certain extent. Like your T she always says it's okay to share anything with her. I think we just need to truly believe it?
I like what Tree said about allowing yourself to sit with the feeling just a little bit. My T wants me to try and do that. To sit in the feelings and thoughts--sometimes when T senses Im getting panicky she switches topics for me. But has asked me several times what it would be like to sit with the hard stuff just a little. maybe a few minutes at a time before you put the brakes on it...? I will try it if you try it
