I feel like I'm about to explode

I haven't been sleeping well, too many dreams, too many nightmares, I wake up in cold sweats shaking or in tears and throwing up.

I'm on edge, I"m shaking, I'm jumpy I'm nervous

Today's steady diet of caffine and nicotne has not helped matters

I"m trying to keep my heart rate and my nerves steady, it's been a chaotic day, I'm worried, I'm stressed, my mind and me are going a thousand to one, I'm manic at the moment as well, adrenline you are my friend in this moement.

I'm dog tired, but cant' sleep, can't close my eyes

thisi is my life chaos, a steady stream of it

chaos and anger and mania is the tehme for today so paint me red and spin me in a circle and let me loose.

I feel like i'm going to explode, I can't sit still right now I am fidigiting all in my chair and twisting around at every noise

I can't find any peace, I'm biting my tounge so I don't lash out at anyone around me. I feel frustrated.

I feel guilty for feeling like this, I keep telling msyelf to be quiet, sit down, shut up, not my plae to feel like this, got ot keep a straight face, poker face, mask, can't let anyone see the chaos brewing in me, can't let anyone smell the cigerrates on my breath, can't anyone see I'm falling apart today......

Find me a home so I can rest, place my wings in a thread bare nest, anything to quiet these demons in me....