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Originally Posted by treehouse
It DOES feel like too much. But it's not too much. T sometimes reminds me that I already survived all of this stuff, and that it's NOT HAPPENING NOW. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around sometimes, but of course, he's right. And somehow knowing that I survived it already makes it a *little* easier sometimes. It at least makes me feel like I'm not going to just die, which is honestly something I'm scared of a lot of the time, because the feelings are just so overwhelming.
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That is a thought that makes it easier. Even tho in my mind when I go back it very much
feels like it is happening now. And the feelings are overwhelming. I go back to that time when I wasnt cared about and I feel nothing but worthless. Worthless to the point of feeling like, "How dare I work on myself, who do I think I am, no one cares, what makes you think anyone would care about YOU."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Treehouse
I think to work on it, we need a really safe place, and we need time. It's really important to try to work at a pace where we don't get overwhelmed, and for me, the only way to do that, is knowing that there's no "time limit"..it can take as long as it takes to get through everything. For a REALLY long time in therapy - like over a year - when we talked about anything trauma related, it was SO overwhelming to me. So we could talk about one detail (like "he had a red shirt") in a session and that was IT - the feelings were so, so, so big, and that's all I could handle. The rest of the session would just be feelings, and containing the feelings so I wouldn't be overwhelmed in real life.
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Im glad you told me this. What slowly looks like. I am hoping to find a therapist that understands that.
How did you contain the feelings so you wouldnt be overwhelmed in real life?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Treehouse
For me, when I look at everything at once - I have to work on ALL THIS STUFF! - it seems impossible and overwhelming. But when I can be gentle with myself, and trust the process, and believe that T will be there for me for as long as I need him, and just look at the step in front of me instead of the whole marathon that lies before me, it feels a little less overwhelming.
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This is so helpful. To be gentle, trust the process, that I (and all of us here) dont have to do anything we cant handle, that it takes one step at a time to run a marathon and that t will be there for as long as I need her. The problem now is that I really DONT trust that she will be there. I cant call her after a session if I feel like the feelings are overwhelming, she would just believe I shouldnt have gone back.
How will I develop trust in a new t? I am afraid it will take me forever and I'll never get to work.....