Well, the cuts were so large that I knew I had to confess to my husband before he saw them on his own. He became very upset, because he thought I had quit cutting after I was hospitalized last spring.

I went to my pdoc on Monday and we talked about the cutting, the dissociation, anxiety and depression He doubled the dosage on two of my meds---I've been sleeping a lot ever since. He said that if this doesn't work after 4 weeks, he'll prescribe anti-psychotic drugs, because they sometimes work wtih dissociation. (I usually see him every six weeks, but now he's cut it down to four.)

Tuesday I went to my t. He was very relieved that my weekend went ok; but tried to make me promise to call him prior to cutting the next time. I told him that I couldn't promise him that. We talked about suicidal thoughts that I've been having, so now he's really worried. I did promise that if the suicidal thoughts got worse that I will call him. He made an appointment with me for next week, even though I had recently been going every two weeks. I told him that my husband wanted to talk to him about my lack of progress and the cutting.

Yesterday, my husband and my t had a lengthy conversation on the phone. My t said that he's called my pdoc and is waiting to hear back from him. My t and my husband discussed hospitalizing me again. .

My pdoc, my t, my husband and I are all disappointed that I'm not much better by now. I have a baaaad feeling that I'm gonna end up in the hospital. I sure wish that I hadnt let my husband know that I'm still cutting. I dread my visit with my t next Wednesday. Now that my husband is so upset, he and my pdoc may feel pressured to take more drastic action.

Please everybody keep your fingers crossed.

Julie