Hi Scotland,
Quote:
Originally Posted by scotlandskye
This has been on my mind and I have asked a friend here this before. So I thought I would bring it to the board and see what the general senses were.
Why is it that we (no saying everyone, but people in genreal) feel like we "have" to have someone in our lives in order to be happy? Is it that we are going through things and knowing that someone is there makes it better or makes us feel better? Is it need or a want?
I would like to think that I don't have to have someone in my life to be happy or feel "ok" but it seems that is the case. It is like a friend that I have that I thought I had lost because I freaked out on him and he didn't really know what was going on. I have since talked to him and explained things and he now understands. We are back to talking but it is like I'm coming obsessed and I don't want to be. Why do we feel or maybe I should say why do I feel the need for daily contact.
As I said just a random thought/question
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I think our need for human contact also is dependent on where we fit on the introversion/extroversion continuum. While it is true that we are all social creatures.. we are social creatures to varying degrees. Some of this may be due to our self esteem (or lack thereof) as another poster mentioned, but in other cases it is mainly due to our personality characteristics.
In addition, stressors in our life can also dramatically affect our need for human contact.
There was a study done several years ago where researchers discovered that female primates (and the researchers feel that this applies to female humans too) exhibit a "tend and befriend" instinct... rather than just a "fight of flight" instinct like lower animal forms.
They found that female primates when stressed seemed to spend more time taking care of their offspring and seeking out the company of other primates in their clan for social interaction. They found that when the female primates engaged in these social behaviors, their cortisol levels (which is a stress hormone) decreased dramatically while the level of oxytocin (a hormone that counteracts cortisol and results in a calm feeling) increased.
Finally... one other thing I want to bring up is that poor quality social interaction (in other words, a stressful relationship) is probably worse for a person healthwise (both psychologically and physiologically) than little or no social interaction.