w_i,
Keep speaking out.
Here, at Ts, get it out every way you can...it will lessen it's power over you.
Many posts ago, I shared that our journey was going to go through some hellish spots. They are just that--spots; a period of time when it hurts to continue but you've come too far to turn back.
The length of those times will grow shorter as you grow in confidence and trust yourself, when you accept that you will pick yourself up again and inch forward.
Guess who's inching along with you? Me. Maybe a few others...

When I needed reassurance, w_i, you were the first one to offer it to me...
Mind reader? No. Heart reader? Yes

Our hearts are listening to yours, our hands now reach for yours, we aren't going anywhere...we don't leave one of our own.

In Peace