I know it's an odd question but I've been living with a variety of anxiety disorders since I was a young child and have always had an extreme amount of guilt. A couple of years ago my husband and I separated for a year, we decided to work things out but he also knew that I was seeing someone at the time. The problem is I never told him everything that happened or in the time frame that it happened in, I started to but it just upset him so much that I thought I was almost being selfish and just trying to relieve my guilt. I immediately back peddled and basically lied to make him feel better. I knew he wouldn't leave me either way and we also started counseling so I knew we would never have to be in that situation again. Long story short, I still feel incredibly guilty and just haven't been feeling well since the whole thing happened a year ago. Last week I found a lump in my breast and I can't help but think that this is my punishment for being a bad wife and mother. I know that sounds ridiculous especially since I do not believe in God or karma but as much as I don't believe in it I can't stop obsessing. I almost feel as if I would deserve something horrible. Since I made my doctors appointment it's all gone downhill, I can't stop crying, I can't even get out of bed. I watched my mother go through breast cancer and my father die from cancer at a very young age and I feel almost positive that when I go in they will tell me what they told my father, that I have six months tops. Even if it turns out that I am fine I can't shake the feeling that something horrible will happen to me because of what I have done or that I am riddled with cancer that they just have yet to find. Has anyone else ever experienced this?