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Sep 13, 2009, 12:03 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Posts: 2,779
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Dear Roxy,
I do feel so bad for your difficulties. I wasn't raped or abused. I was assaulted by two older neighborhood boys on two different occasions when I was a young girl and it was against my wishes. I never told my mother or anyone else for that matter but have told my husband. I've never dealt with it in therapy because I figured I had so many other issues, it would get lumped in there with all the others somehow.
Don't know if you understand this but my mother was so shame based in her own thinking and made me feel so bad about my own body that those boys didn't do anything to me that was any worse than my own mother made me feel. I didn't dare tell her about the incidents, either, because she would have figured out a way to make it my own fault.
I think it is really important for your husband to go to therapy with you if possible. He sees you suffering and yet, you are trying your best to maintain your physical relationship with him. I think it would be good for him to be able to share about his feelings, too. He could also get a better understanding of how to support you. I'm wondering if at times, he feels like an outsider in this.
You are a brave woman. Keep working at peach of mind for yourself. We are here for you, too.
__________________
 Vickie
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