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Old Sep 13, 2009, 12:12 PM
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sunrise sunrise is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused_1982 View Post
I went into our last session feeling stuck and that I didnt know what I wanted to deal with or how I felt.
confused, are you feeling stuck in therapy or stuck with a problem in your life? Sometimes they are related. Are your therapy sessions not helping you solve a problem in your life right now or are you not getting along with T (miscommunicating, the techniques he is using not suited for you, having a rupture, etc.)? Have you told him how you feel--uncared for and far away?

Quote:
Reading Kiya's post about cute things T has said to you makes me feel really sad- I can't think of any things T has said to me like that I feel so overwhelmed with sadness at the moment- why doesnt T like me the way your Ts like you Because I am so difficult and so not worth it.
I doubt he is withholding "cute things" because he thinks you are difficult. He may just not be a "cute" person and is quite distant with all his clients. Some Ts may naturally be more reserved and some may take a more distant therapeutic approach where they are all "business." It could be your T is one of these or both.

Quote:
I dont know if I should be asking T for something- he didnt reassure me he still wants to work with me- he said that it was entirely my decision whether or not I continue with therapy?
Well, I agree it is entirely your decision. What did he say that in response to? Did you ask him if he thought you should continue therapy, and that is what he said?

While I was with my first T, I was stuck on a problem in my life, and at first we made some basic, slow progress toward helping me with this problem. After a while, I was not feeling like I wanted to work on this problem anymore (in real life), and I needed a break from worrying about the problem, so I took a 3 month break from trying to move forward, and since therapy was a part of my efforts to move forward, I took a 3 month break from therapy also. When I was ready to attack the problem again, we started therapy again, and it was easier to see that therapy wasn't really helping me move forward and get unstuck. I talked to my T about feeling stuck and gently inquired about how I could use therapy to help me with that (basically, what she could offer me). She told me I could keep doing therapy, but it was going to be the same as before--she had no other techniques or ideas to offer, but she was definitely willing to keep seeing me and offering me her standard style of talk therapy. I am glad we had that talk, and decided to continue working with her. I saw her for about 4 more sessions and then quit. I realized she really wasn't going to be able to help me at that point in my life with her skill set. There was nothing "wrong" with her, I just needed more/different help at that time. I don't know if that is similar to what you are going through or not, but I think it is key to have a talk with your T and tell him the therapy (or the therapy relationship) is not working for you right now.

Maybe you could ask him if he has had success with clients "like you" or with the same presenting problem(s) as you. Maybe he tends not to be that effective with clients "like you" and it would be helpful to know that. Or maybe he often does have success and he could explain to you the typical course of therapy with a person with your issue. Maybe you could then see yourself as somewhere on the timeline of a successful outcome, and that would be reassuring to you that you are doing OK and just have to keep at it to move to the next phase of the process. I do find it helpful when I ask my T, "do other clients do ____ or ask you about _____?" And if he says yes, then I think OK, he has handled this many times, I am not aberrant, he knows what to do with this, etc.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships."

Last edited by sunrise; Sep 13, 2009 at 03:57 PM.
Thanks for this!
Anonymous29357, Confused_1982