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For the few memories I have about my childhood, I possess no emotion. I've told my therapist several times that I feel like a monster inside because of this.
However, after recognizing the different parts inside of me, quick blips of scenes are popping into my mind almost daily (most pleasant, but a few not so pleasant) - all of them void of emotion (with the exception of two that have had accompanying "physical" feelings). There was one that was especially abrupt in content, but even more so in another way: it's the first time that within the scene, I was watching what was happening from the ceiling. Again, no emotion; however, it was accompanied by a "physical" feeling that started about two months ago and that just pops up out of the blue. I assume most people would consider this scene very disturbing. Anyway, I'm wondering if the way these "scenes" are just popping up all over the place is normal.
Also, my therapist has noted that things may become very painful, but I don't understand that because I've never had feelings with anything, not even the recent potentially "disturbing" scene. So how will it become "painful," and what should I expect? Do memories/scenes come from the parts and, if so, how does that normally happen? I just need to know what's going to happen; although, my therapist keeps reminding me that the process is unfolding even though we may not know how it will happen for me.
Finally, I've not told my therapist about this potentially disturbing "scene" because I don't believe it happened, and I'd never want to discuss something like that if it were not a factual memory. Never mind that it's unbelievably embarrassing.
Last edited by writingwithink; Sep 13, 2009 at 10:37 PM.
Reason: Clarify subject line.
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