Putting a different spin on things - Maybe God or Karma helped you to find the lump early enough because you and you partner have already been through enough.

Who knows why any of us get sick, but I don't think God or Karma would make you get sick.

Guilt is a really nasty thing to process. Maybe you could have a few private sessions with your counselor to process what your emotions are at the moment.

Your hubby has forgiven you. Maye its time to forgive yourself.