I like that "work pill" idea. I think I'm too negative with my kids, and would like to change that too.

LMo, the way you reward yourself for your accomplishments sounds very healthy - like something I ought to try - but I'm afraid that if I did try it, I would punish myself some other way just because. I am so self-destuctive, and it's so deep and engrained in me - it weaves itself through everything that I do. I try to let go of one part of it, but something else pops up to compensate. You know what? I'm an addict. I'm addicted to self-destructive behavior, and it's just like a drug. It has that same grip on me like substances do on people who are substance-dependent. I don't know how to function without it. I keep it subtle enough that it isn't obvious most of the time to most people, but it's always there.

(((((((hugs to all of you))))))))))