I haven't gone through what you've gone through, but maybe there's a way to find a kind of compromise while you're working on this in therapy?

I don't know how you were raped and abused. And I don't need to know the details. But maybe there's some element of sex that would bother you less that would still give your husband pleasure? This might reduce your feelings of guilt and make him happy too.
Maybe you could just use hands, or even have him use his own hands while you talk to him about how much you love him. Maybe you could give him a "special attention night" or time or whatever works for you. Do it only on a physical level you are completely comfortable with, even if that's NO physical level (you letting him do the physical work with you still there interacting with him in the room). I know it's not the same but at least it could be a way to connect on a physical level as well as the emotional one you obviously share already?

This may not work at ALL, and it may just be weird but I thought of it when I read your post so I thought I'd share. Better to have shared the thought even if it's a flop