Interesting article Pachy, thanks.

Children learn self control by being controlled by a parent when they are young. SuperNanny walks into some pretty chaotic households where there isn't any control and this isn't good. To get things in order takes some over the top effort and then things can be scaled back. I rarely, rarely discipline. When we get upset with our kids it is basically the real world. When they go out into the world people are going to react to them. There ain't no unconditional love out there....... People need feedback on their behavior, everyone.......

Children are actually afraid when a parent won't take charge because this means that they are in charge and that is a scary thought for a youngster.

But of course how you take charge makes all the difference. I liked what they mentioned in the article about "autonomy support". This stuff works. Also parenting can be divided into styles 1)permissive, 2)authoritarian, 3) authoritative. I'll bet if those studies would have added this it would have had more interesting results.

Leading by example is a very powerful one. My kids do well in school because their dad and I are very curious and studious. They see us reading and writing and being enthusiastic about knowledge......... This stuff is contagious.