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Sep 15, 2009, 10:38 AM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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I agree with you Sannah. My father used his belt - but in a good way. I only remember getting hit with it once when I was very young, and it hurt like hell. I also remember him coming back into my room afterward to explain why he had to hit me. I can't remember what I did to get hit, but I remember my fathers words making a lot of sense. As bad as I was hurting, I knew how much he cared about me. 
When I started getting a mind of my own, I'd occasionally test my father's authority on life. At this point he'd talk with me from his heart, telling me stories from his own life experiences. Even if I completely disagreed with him, he'd respect my view. When I put it to the test and failed, he never considered me a loser and him a winner. Never for a moment did I EVER feel unloved by him, even during those occasional moments when we were screaming at each other in anger. 
My father's goal wasn't to control me or have me perform tricks like a dog. His goal wasn't to keep me happy and painfree. His goal was to prepare me to become a strong and responsible adult in the real world.
I remember an exchange we had when I was little.....
Dad: Go clean your room.
Me: I hate you!
Dad: You WHAT?
Me: I hate someone.
Dad: Who do you hate?
Me: I hate someone you don't even know.
Dad: Oh, okay - you shouldn't hate anybody - now go clean your room. 
Rest in peace, dad. 
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