Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches100
I appreciate the responses and the viewpoints being offered. It seems like most people feel that my t did not mean to blow me off. And I want to believe that, I really do. But what bothers me is that, in the time it took for her to reply that she didn't have time to respond, she could have responded at least briefly to my concerns. I mean, if she took the time to make a 1-sentence reply about not being able to respond, she could have just as easily said something like, "I understand your concerns and look forward to discussing them with you tomorrow" or "I know these things bother you, and we'll talk about it." That would have taken NO extra time. There have been many times when she has replied to my concerns with 1 or 2 sentences like that. Why not now?? It just feels GROSS.  Especially when the topic was not feeling important to her in the first place.
I feel that if she had WANTED to, she could have been more supportive, but that she CHOSE not to. I know it's so wrong and probably self-destructive but i feel like cancelling for tomorrow. I just feel so let down. |
Peaches, I get everything that you're saying here. I know how it feels and I have had similar reactions.
However, just recently I've been getting better at stepping back when these things come up and trying to keep it in perspective rather than letting it take over the entire relationship. Has she been kind, caring, attentive to your needs generally speaking? If so, then maybe she was just imperfect here, had a mis-step, didn't respond in the 100% perfect way that you were looking for...but that doesn't necessarily mean that all the other caring that she's shown doesn't exist any more, right? I guess for me, it's been shifting from focusing on the ways my T is not doing enough/is failing to meet my needs (because, let's be honest, sometimes she doesn't meet them all), and instead focusing on all the ways she has tried to meet my needs and show me caring (when I look at a list of all the caring and considerate things she's done for me, it's really hard to deny that she does in fact care).
Just my thoughts, and I hope they don't come out wrong. Like I said, I've been exactly where you are. I hope you can talk it out with her tomorrow and get some reassurance that she does still care about your feelings.