I think if one's not careful, jealousy can turn into an obsession that is way more difficult to get under control than your basic jealous emotion. I have only felt real jealousy one time in my life and it wasn't until I was in my late 40's. It was a horrible feeling, and I hated having those thoughts. I was able to finally work through it though.

I think it's important to understand that past relationships are just that....past. We cannot change the past, it is what it is. Since you let your bf know you didn't want him to have contact with her anymore and he stopped.....that's a great sign and one that you should run with. Your bf cannot forget her, she's in his past...was part of his life, like it or not. Why waste precious energy on things you cannot change? Put that energy into concentrating on your relationship with your boyfriend.

Let him know you are feeling insecure. Let him know you are working on this issue and trying to resolve. Ask him for help along the way. Men are fixers, they like to help fix things. Including him in the work you need to do for yourself will help you both!

Most of all, when you get those visions of the two of them together....replace her face with yours.....then go have some fun!! This will help counter that image and thought and help to bring you back to feeling safer and more secure. Find little things that you can both do for one another........something that is completely yours and yours alone.

I hope you can find a way to work through your jealousy. It surely is an ugly emotion to deal with from all angles. Wishing you well!


sabby