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Originally Posted by rainbow8
Although your T leaves much to be desired, and I support you in finding a more suitable T for you, I don't think everything she says/does is terrible. You even said so in the above quote. Your T did not stop you from talking more about your deeper feelings, but YOU did. YOU changed the subject because it was painful. I think if you continued talking about your mother, your T would have let you. You have the power to take your session where you want it to go. It helps when T guides you, though.
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Yes- I wanted to go deeper into the mother things, but I felt like I was blocked by fear. I couldnt go any further and I changed the subject back to my daughter. Then my t changed it back to food. My t wanted me to talk about the mother stuff. There was this point in the conversation where it couldnt have gone anyplace else and I felt like I didnt want to go there but I forced myself. Very briefly and superficially.
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You seem to know what you need. You need a T who will keep you focused on the real reasons for your ED and make you feel comfortable talking about them. Because of your T's style, and that BIG DESK separating you, it's not happening. It's of course also because your T wants to treat the problem as it is today, which is her orientation and not wrong for her.
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Yes- I need someone to work in a different way. She isnt all bad. She just is not understanding how I should do this work to get better. Or she doesnt know how to do it.
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I can imagine my T working on the present like that too. If I felt I needed someone to delve into childhood issues more, I would have had to find a new T also.
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yes- I imagine your t would do the same- focus on now.
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I have a feeling that your T doesn't even realize that her eating, drinking, putting on makeup, etc. affects your session negatively. I know you're not going to ask her, but I am really curious now. It could be that no one ever taught her that it was wrong, and no one complained to her directly. Like my T saying "my 11:30 is here." I think I was the first to bring that to her attention.
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I have a feeling youre right. She cant imagine how all of these distractions feel. It makes me feel unimportant in the room. What did you say about her 11:30 (I remember your post at the time).
Yes LOL! Thank you, Rainbow. There are some pos things there, but some weird neg things too.
