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Sep 16, 2009, 02:18 AM
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Member Since: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,982
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Quote:
Originally Posted by writingwithink
I had an argument inside my head last night about, as you say, "feeling cared for, comforted..." It was intense. My head ached and no one won. It was such a mental struggle, and then, suddenly, we both faded to the back and a kid was sitting in the livingroom of my childhood home [no one could break through the moment, including me], looking out across the hardwood floors up at her father [our father] and realizing how big he was and feeling afraid to go any farther. My f**kng head won't stop hurting and I haven't slept more than three hours in over four weeks.
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Writingmithinks:
We are very sorry you had a fight in your head last night. You are so knowledgable about yourself already. You must be doing some pretty good work.
We wish for that 'kid on the hardwood floor' to be safe, protected and secure till you can go to your t. Maybe just let T take you the rest of the way...no rush on that. In the meantime be gentle with yourself. Maybe you can do something nice for yourself? Something safe and that makes you feel safe.
We remember building walls of protection out of the pillows in our t's office but since you're not there yet, maybe you can wrap yourself in a soft blanket and have a cozy pillow handy. We even, eventually got ourselves some stuffies. There are parts who never thought we would ever have a stuffie  . We own several now  . They are quite comforting.
The pressure in our head was huge and not being able to sleep was a problem too. It is more relieved now by our therapy and we don't have to take meds anymore. They didn't help much anyway except make us sleepy but they may help you to sleep. The therapy took away the pressure every t session. Now we have less built-up each time we go.
What have you done for your head and lack of sleep, only if you want to say?
Our heart if filled with compassion for you Writingmithinks. Do take care.
Hunny
Callista, you are so real...we can't imagine it was your intention to harm anyone. You are such a caring person. But we know you have been struggling with much, lately too so not to discount where you are at either.
Thank you for real. 
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__________________
“Science without religion is lame.
Religion without science is blind.”
Albert Einstein
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