I've been doing really well lately. I had my T appointment this week. I had spread my appointments out so the the last time I had gone was 3 weeks ago. We had an OK session. Honestly, I avoiding talking about some things but... that happens, right? I'm getting ready to take another big leap for me on Friday and we did talked about about this. I thought I was fine with everything. But as soon as I left the appointment the mental noise started and panic about Friday set in. My T usually allows me to email her if I want and she typically responds when I'm showing signs of freaking out. Well, as my flipping out progressed sent a few 1-2 line emails. She hasn't responded at all. Her silence is flipping me out more. I know there is likely a reason for it (technical problems or maybe she is wanting me to handle things on my own). Whatever the reason, I'm sure it is not malicious, but the silence is just feeding my mental loops. I hate when this happens. I hate when I KNOW I'm OK and I'll be fine, but yet that freaky part of me just gets out of wrack and wants attention.

At this point I am angry at myself, not my T. The adult part of me wants my T not to respond so I can get this freaky part to stop being so....freak'n needy. I just hate days like this when I realize how childish I am at times.

Sorry just venting I guess.