Just saw my psychiarist today to do a medication check (I started Adderall August 15). I am not picking on age Sunflower, but I am 34 and was misdiagnosed as NOT being ADD at age 10. I have gone through the same grieving process you are going through now. (My mom also suspects I got it from her, and she was a teacher for 36 years and still subs, so hats off to you! I never could be a teacher!)

So when I was 10, it was 1985. According to my wonderfully communicative doctor, he was completing his residency at the time. At that time, the medical community (referred to "them" or "they" for the duration...) believed that ADD or ADHD was a childhood disability, that as ADD children matured into adults it no longer became an issue. They also did not know about the "inattentive" possibility. Hence the reason why I probably went misdiagnosed.

It wasn't until the mid 1990s the they realized this disability continued on into adulthood and that adults were struggling with it. It wasn't until then or the late 1990's that they started treating adults. By this time, I had graduated high school and failed my attempts at college.

So would things have been different for you? Probably. When our FT first suggested I may be ADD, I had a very emotional and negative reaction. I am lucky enough to have a really understanding boss. When I told him about it at my quarterly review, he looked me right in the eyes and said "I always suspected you were, and it is part of who you ARE. It helped shape you into YOU, I just know how to play to your strengths", and he was right! Here's the kicker. When I shared my diagnosis with family and friends, here's what I got:

"I figured THAT" - Mom
"Why do you think I always pointed out your 'oooh shiny' moments?" - husband
"Why do you think I get along with my boy so well?" - friend who's son is ADHD and developmentally delayed.

So it seems everyone knew but me...

I know this is long winded, and I apologize. Here is the most important thing, yes it sucks that you didn't know, but now that you do, what are you going to do? Medication has helped, but it didn't make me a great organizer, keep me from being distracted (though it helps) and didn't make me a better time manager. I am seeing an ADD coach (a life coach that specializes in the disability). You have some GREAT resources. My neighbor is an EBD teacher. She has been a WEALTH of information. Talk to people you trust at work, or the EBD teachers. Talk to your mental health professional about therapy that may help.

I am not saying it will go away, and that you won't have some dark days. But there IS hope, and you have support and understanding here!