It seems like I am trying but it doesnt work. In this past session my t said to me "are you really trying?" She doesnt think Im trying. I said, I think Im trying sometimes and sometimes I give up. I have moments when I try and try and cant get it right with food, my feelings and then SI and then I just give up and fel sui. And then I cant swim up out of it. I want a specail t like eveyone else has but I cant tell my t what made me so upset today. You know? I havent told her Im trying to find another t. I want that relationship with a t that cares and she doesnt seem to care that I keep cancelling appts. If I were her and I had a pt like me who kept cancelling it would make me wonder.

I dont feel cared for

And I want to cut....