It seems like I am trying but it doesnt work.

You have to find your answers. This takes a lot of self understanding and you are not getting this kind of help from the T that you have now.

In this past session my t said to me "are you really trying?" She doesnt think Im trying.

I think she is a terrible T - oops, did I say that?

I have moments when I try and try and cant get it right with food, my feelings and then SI and then I just give up and fel sui.

Again, you need to find your answers and you aren't getting the right help.

I want a specail t like eveyone else has but I cant tell my t what made me so upset today. You know? I havent told her Im trying to find another t. I want that relationship with a t that cares and she doesnt seem to care that I keep cancelling appts. I dont feel cared for

And you deserve a special T and you are trying to find her. You are not feeling cared for because of her. It is not because you are not worthy of care!

And I want to cut....

Is this not feeling cared for a triggered up feeling do you think????