((((((((((((( daynnight & family )))))))))))))))))
You are able to vent here anytime sweety. You need somewhere you can do so, safely and without feeling worse than you already do.
I'm sure with son getting older, larger, stronger, his actions may bring some real harm to himself and others. There is no way you can handle him as he grows without some help from these so called professionals. I pray you get it very very soon hon.
Keeping you all in my prayers and sending you much love

sabby