Sannah- I have wondered how she can say something to me that makes me feel so bad about myself. It wouldmake me feel so much better if she could just acknowledge that I am doing something to try. She believes Im not trying hard enough and still doing the behviors that keep me unhappy. What I think she doesnt get is that if I could I would. She believes I hve so much control over it all. She has said that to me.

I dont know how to find the right help. I really dont trust myself to make this decision no matter how many t's I interview. I wish someone else could interview the t's and make a decsion. I could make another mistake.

I dont feel like she cares for me and I do feel not worthy of care- that is exactly how I feel and it makes me want to cut just to write it here. That must be a trigger b/c when I feel it I want to hurt myself. I believe everyone else on PC deserves care fron their therapists but who would want to take care of me? I should be ignored. makes me want to cry.