Writer, we strongly agree with the suggestions of going slow and being gentle with yourself. I tried to push myself to hurry and get it over, plus I was never treated gently so I did not know to do that for myself. It has taken time for me to learn that skill. I treated everyone around me better than I treated myself because I absorbed the abusers' attitudes and behavior.

Also, we have never seen or heard anyone who "dissociated" exactly the same. There is no blueprint or "Dissociation for Dummys" book. Each of us has to go on a healing journey that takes as long as it takes and is as simple or complex as it is.

The amount of healing (in my life) seemed to improve as I worked hard to overcome my denial (and I had a truckload of denial). I had to learn to express affection, gentleness, kindness, belief in my own literal true story. All of this came with effort and over time. I had been trained by those who abused me to do the opposite of all I just wrote.

Healing takes longer than anyone wants or thinks it will take - but fighting the process definitely slowed me down and caused my family and me to suffer more than necessary. I can't promise that "knowing any of this" will do any good for you. However, every bit of information offers potential help for now or the future.

My relationship with God has been the single most powerful part of my healing process. I've grown to trust Him and that trust has a huge impact in my life. Abuse warps trust or detroys it completely, at least in my life it has. Over time my interactions with God healed damage and aided me in learning to trust again.

This is a good topic you've brought up and I hope you find some comfort in the answers you get.