i did something stupid tonight (not related to SI)

and im tired

and now i feel like this could be my only release. i never thought i might be 'addicted' to cutting, yet now im finding myself constantly fighting the urge. more so than when i actually did it. and i dont get it, nor do i like it. even though ive been thinking about it more often than not, ive decided that i will probably never actually tell a T. i dont see how i could, or would know how to find the words. id be disgusted with myself, ashamed of what i did, and horribly hurt by the fact that im positive a T would judge me - even if they claim they don't. i mean hello? a T is a person too. a T is a person like you, like me, like your family or friends. they are humans. and it is human nature to judge or be afraid of something that you aren't sure of. a T would be like that.

this sucks. im sorry, ya'll. i dont mean to ***** and moan, im just stuck between a rock and a hard place.