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MysticalMoon · 10:34 AM

How to put this so everyone may understand this?
I have never been dianosed with BPD, even thou may past is not the greatest.
My husband and I used to fight constiantly. I would go out and try to find my "prince charming" to take me away from this horrible man. I know it wasn't right but all I wanted to do was get away from him. He told a couple of theraphist that I had something wrong with me. I would also talk to other men via the internet, just to get away from him. I would try anything to get away from him.
Long story short, I am on a couple mood stablers to keep my "mood" in check. And to keep me from getting a mind of my own.
Since then I have moved away from him 4 times and end up coming back to due to the nasty things he says he's going to do. When I do come back it gets worse everytime. We ingore each other, I don't want him to touch me, I don't want to be in the same room as him, I don't want to look at him and so on..
So now I am wondering if I'm taking this meds for him or me? Like I said I was never disnosed with anything expect serve depression. The family theraphist wanted me to do to an emotional abuse class, but I couldn't because "I need more meds is all".
I am also wondering what this moving in and moving out will do to the two girls I have. One is his and one is not. The one that is his, he hardly even realizes she is alive. The older one he does realize she is alive and he gives her the most attention. Will this moving in and moving out effect them? Should I just stay here and act like life is grand? (Like I have been for several years.)
I feel like a human yo-yo. Claim down this fight, claim down that fight between the two girls, get him off of my back because he "needs some", make sure the youngest one is ok because her own father wont do anything with her, keep my anger in check other wise he will claim I am not taking my pills.

What to do??