Yuck. I had a good day too, up to then. Went and saw War of the Worlds with my friends from my homegroup (great movie) and then went out to dinner. Well, I just had coffee, spent my budget on the movie. We went to this restaurant called Old Chicago, and they serve alcohol. I've been to places like that, always with people from my group and it's been fine. But where I was sitting, I could see the bar and rows of beer taps, and I was thinking "Man, all those beers I haven't tried." And then the guy across from us was pouring from a piture and he only poured half a glass and I'm like, what's the point of that! If only I could have a half a glass....and it just got harder to tear my eyes away from the beer. I realized later that I was hungry but couldn't have any food and it smelled really good. I also hadn't had enough water, and I had also been puting off something my sponser wanted me to, because I had until Tuesday to do it, so of course I was procrastinating. My friend was having a hard time for other reasons and we went out and had a cigarette and ended up plopping down right there on the sidewalk haha. We had a laugh about that, and called the square of concrete a "square of dispair" haha. When we went back in, she traded spots with me so I didn't have to look at the taps, so that helped, and my other friend gave me her fries. We all went to a meeting afterwards and I brought up the topic of cravings and got good advice. My friend and I listened to a song in her car by Kenny Chesney I think, about the "simple things in life" that you miss when you loose control and I so needed to hear that! We hung out and then I went to my other friend's place and that was good. I did part of what my sponser wants me to do while I was there, so I feel better about that. I was just so angry that I had the craving because the obsession had been totally lifted until now. But they all helped me see that it still happens, and I realized it helped make me see that I had been slacking and had some work to do. So I feel better, but man it sucked! It wasn't even necessarily a craving for a beer, but a craving for the drunk feeling, for escaping. Yuck. I hate that. Anyway, just had to write it. Thanks for listening, hehe.

~Rayna